The Cruise Ship Magician And The Captain's Parrot
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A magician takes a job on a cruise ship and performs every night in the main lounge. The captain loves the show so he goes every night of the cruise and takes his pet parrot - the ship's mascot - with him to see the show. The parrot however, not only doesn't particularly like the magic show, he gets incredibly bored with seeing the same show night after night after night. The talking parrot starts heckling the magician from the back of the room and because he belonged to the captain, nobody would stop him. The parrot would say things like:
"Didn't you see that -- he had that rabbit in his inside breast pocket."
"Look at that hat -- you could park a Chevy in that hat."
"It's a whole deck of Black Jacks, stupid."
"Where'd you get those pants, Speedo -- Toys R Us?"
Night after night the same thing. The magician did his best but with the heckler at the back of the room, his tips began to go down and the audience began to be very hesitant with its laughter and applause. Finally, after a week and a half of constant terrorizing from the parrot, the magician is really starting to hate this bird. As he leaves the stage after the first show of the evening, he purposely brushes against the parrot's perch and nearly knocks it to the floor but the spoiled bird was not deterred.
The next night when the parrot begins his jibes, the magician glares at him from the stage, but the parrot just kept on with the insults. Then suddenly, during the middle of his act with the captain in the audience, the ship hits an iceburg and begins to quickly sink into the North Atlantic.
Travelers scramble to the lifeboats but there isn't enough time. Crew members throw out life jackets and life preservers but as darkness falls, the ship is going down. The magician gets knocked unconscious in the confusion and when he comes to, he is floating in the middle of the ocean, clinging to a plank of wood without another soul in sight - except the parrot who is perched on the opposite end of the plank.
They float along, glaring at each other for hours. No food. No fresh water. No sign of land. Just glaring and staring. At last, the parrot breaks down and couldn't stand it anymore and says to the magician,
"Okay, I give up! Where'd you put the cruise ship?"
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